Friday, July 26, 2013

Five Minute Friday: Broken


It's Friday.  Where hundreds of writers come together every week over at the lovely Lisa-Jo Baker's blog to spend five minutes writing about one thing.  One word.  No hyper-editing.  No getting in your own way.  Just writing, flat out.  Won't you join us?

Today's prompt:  Broken






I thought I could mend myself.  I would stop chasing the wrong boy.  I would watch my mouth.  The dripping sarcasm and the cussing and the cutting words.  

Maybe some prozac would help that deep aching, the longing for something I couldn't even explain.  Couldn't grasp it.  So deep.

Little did I realize a pill may be able to trick my brain but it couldn't fill my heart.  Was there a medicine for that?  If there was, I was determined to find it.

I tried so hard to be better.  I cleaned my house until it was sparkling clean and you could literally eat off our kitchen floor.

Why was I so tired all the time?  I could barely drag myself out of bed.  Was there a pill that would help me sleep at night?

I longed to feel complete.  I had to fix it.  That pain.  What was it?  

It suddenly hit me one day.  I was standing at the kitchen sink scrubbing a bowl with scalding hot water and the caked on mess just wouldn't come off.  I scrubbed harder.  The stain resisted.

I would never be good enough.  I felt as though I was standing at the edge of a cliff and as I looked out ever the horizon, trying to discern the faintest hint of the sun, I couldn't see anything.  A moving skyline shifting in an opaque haze, my eyes tried to focus on something, anything, but fog was too obscuring.

Closing my eyes, I fell forward.  I didn't know what would happen next.  But as my body relaxed, I felt hands close in around me, lifting me up.  I opened my eyes to see a beautiful sunrise, colors bursting into life all around me.  No, I was not broken anymore.  I was His.



Five Minute Friday

7 comments:

  1. Beautifully written, love this image completely. Such a great realization and surrender.

    Thanks for sharing

    Marissa
    http://forfunreadinglist.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much for your encouraging words.

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  2. Powerfully beautiful!!! Praise GOD! For whatever reason I'm unable to access Lisa-Jo's website. I think the server is down. I came here to see if you had your post up. I love how GOD uses each of us. Thank you for allowing GOD to use you.

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    1. Kimberly, thank you so much for stopping by my blog again this week. This community has meant so much to me. It is so encouraging.

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    2. For me too, Abigail. Happy Weekend!

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  3. Beautiful words! I was in a depression for awhile myself after my divorce. It was so hard. But I learned to lean completely on Christ. My experiences led me straight to Him. Thank you for this beautiful reminder of Christ's saving love!

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    1. Ashley, thank you so much for stopping here. And praise God for redeeming you from your dark days! He is King.

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