Where is Home?

The place we now call "home"

Lately I've thought a lot about how a person defines home.  Many would say it's the place where they grew up, or the place they've lived their entire lives.  Some have moved all over the country from a very young age, whether it be because their family is military or other reasons, so there is no specific place they can say they spent their childhood.

I lived in the same area for the first twenty-eight years of my life, but almost immediately after I got married, my husband and I began moving.  A lot.  And although our moving was more out of necessity than want, it has taught me a great deal about who I am and forced me to redefine the word "home."

South Carolina, which is where I grew up and spent most of my life, will always call my name.

What's in South Carolina?  Well, you haven't tasted real BBQ until you've visited the South.  You may think you have.  Trust me.  You haven't. 

SC is also home to some of the juiciest, sweetest peaches I've ever tasted and boasts beautiful beaches and rich history.  And most importantly, it is where my family is.  My mom.  My dad.  My brother and niece.  Several of my cousins.  I miss being able to jump in the car and see them at a moments notice, sharing meals together, and spending the evening just talking and watching movies.

Most of all I miss the time they are away from my children, who don't have the opportunity to spend the night and Pa Pa and Grandma's house unless it's during summer vacation.

As much as I miss all these things, I know that moving cross-country twice in the past seven years, with a couple of smaller moves in-between, was part of God's plan.  My husband and I learned to rely on each other and find strength in mutual love and understanding of one another.

One year after we made our first big move, I had my first son.  Two years after our move, I gave my life to Jesus.  Our faith has grown in leaps and bounds.  We've begun to trust God in the seasons of struggle and not lose hope.  

I moved past my awkward, shy, introverted self and met some amazing people who  stretched me in my walk with Christ.  I realized that relationships form and grow in God's timing and not my own.

Through all of the transitions and the growing experiences, I discovered that home is where my family is.  Not my Mom and Dad, brothers, niece and cousins.  But my husband.  My kids.  Me.  I slapped some paint on walls, hung pictures and kids' art work.  I filled several homes with as much love as one mother's heart can hold.  

Home is walking through the door to a warm embrace and dogs licking my feet.  Home is hearing shouts of "Mama" after an evening away and trying not to trip over little arms and legs.  Home is my Meemaw's shadow box hanging on the wall, a sweet memory of a loved one who is now in her eternal home.

One of the most important things moving has taught me is that the dwellings we call "home" here on earth are temporary.  My prayer is that no matter where the future takes us, my family will feel home in the very essence of their being, no matter the place... because of the security that they have in God and the love they feel when they walk through the door.

"In my Father's house are many rooms... I am going there to prepare a place for you." 
John 14:2

Blood, Water, and other Adages

Sometimes I wonder where sayings come from.  As an English major,  the origin of different words, figures of speech and the like always fascinates me.  There's an old saying I've heard a lot lately, and I have to be honest.  I really dislike it.  We've all heard it at some point, I'm sure.  "Blood runs thicker than water."

Okay, the commonly understood meaning is that relationships with family go deeper, are stronger than those with friends.  In all honesty, I have not always found this to be the case in my own life.  Envy is an emotion I try at great lengths to avoid, but I have to say I envy those who have close relationships with their extended family, cousins, second cousins, and third.  I used to see these family members once a year.  Now I'm lucky if I see them in a decade.  It saddens me, but geographical distance makes it hard to maintain a close-knit connection.  This is one of the reasons I am grateful for social media.  Although I do not see these relatives often, I feel as though I am part of their lives because I can send them a message, view their pictures, and be aware of what's going on in their lives.  I know that the bond will always be there, no matter how many years pass.  So in this way, I get it.

In a literal sense, I've always found the "Blood is thicker..." saying odd because, well, yes, blood does technically "run" thicker than water but it makes me imagine someone who has water running through their veins, which makes absolutely no sense.  So, recently I decided to research where the phrasing originated, and what I found was surprising.

The adage as we use it now comes from an old German proverb, however the original meaning more than likely has been lost.  An older, Jewish version states:

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." 

Now this conveys something else entirely.  My interpretation is that my relationship with God precedes my relationship with my family.  

I understand the bonds of family.  Believe me, I do.  My parents have displayed their devotion to me in more ways than I can count, and when I look at my own children, they are literally little pieces of me running around outside my body.  My oldest son recently visited my parents, who live over five hundred miles away, for a week.  I felt as though part of my heart was missing. 

There is nothing they could do that would make me not love them, and I understand God's love more fully as a result of being a mom.

However… after moving cross country twice and living a great distance away from my immediate family for several years, I have discovered something:  Your friends become your family.  

It takes time.  Boy, does it ever.  Building trust with another person is not something which can be done overnight.  But the women I've studied God's word with, who've shared the trials and joyous moments of mothering with me, the family who was so close to us after our first big move that my oldest son began referring to them as "Aunt" and "Uncle"….  well, these people are my family.  These bonds go deep.  They go deep because they are eternal.  These people will join me with my Heavenly Father one day. 

 I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty amazing.